What is love – can it really be defined?


They say that there is a very thin line between love and hate - but just how thin is the line between love and lust?

Whether you're in a relationship already or admiring someone from afar, sorting out your feelings for someone can be a real challenge. While there's no clear, foolproof way to make the distinction for someone else, you can at least make the distinction clearer for yourself. Follow these steps to know the difference between love, infatuation and lust, and remember to be honest with yourself.

People say that lust leads to love, but I think it usually leads to a night of hot sex. Contrary to popular belief, sex isn't an indicator of love. Sex is just sex. According to Judith Orloff, M.D., “pure lust is based solely on physical attraction and fantasy and often dissipates when the ‘real person’ surfaces.” The key phrase here is “real person.”
And a person’s real self doesn’t truly surface until months into the relationship. Because you can’t say you really love someone until you’ve actually met the whole person. 

You can’t say you’re in a relationship until you’ve seen this person from top to bottom. It's confusing when sex and love are so closely intertwined. Just because that couple on Facebook is making out in front of lakes and taking selfies in the bedroom doesn't mean they're going to last. There's a good probability their lust will fizzle out before they realize how lame they truly are. 

So how can you tell if what you have is real or one inconsistent orgasm away from an unanswered text? When does lust become love? How can you tell if what you have is just a heightened libido or real butterflies?

Lust activates parts of the brain associated with reward and motivation, while love lights up regions connected to caring and empathy. You know you're in love when you care more about your partner than you care about yourself.
 
 1. With love, care for this person even knowing his or her faults. You are committed to sticking together even through the most difficult circumstances. You can tell this person anything about yourself, even if the truth doesn't flatter you, and you know that your partner will accept you. There is no way to make a person love you, although actions do speak louder than words. If you are the one always giving and getting very little in return, you might consider asking a trusted friend or family member, one with your best interests at heart, what they see. Most of the time those on the outside are more likely to see things that you don't because love is blind.

2. With love, when you have an argument with your partner, you keep working until you are able to find some common ground. No argument can erase your commitment to one another, and you appreciate your partner speaking the truth even when it's painful. Even if you don't agree with your partner you will always take their side and defend them in front of your family and friends.

3. With love, you feel comfortable with your partner, and you feel a strong bond of trust. They should feel like your partner, in that marriage or moving in together feels natural because life is better with them. Your family and friends should know all about the person, and you have the reflex to stand up and protect the person from any nay-sayers

4. With love, you tolerate the reality of this person; with lust, you love the idea of this person. Remember the beginning stages? Remember how you used to daydream about your partner when you were at work? You'd imagine the two of you in bed, on dates and in life's biggest moments. You'd imagine your first fight, first holiday and first kiss. When you've woken up from that dream and still want to lie next to your partner, you're in love.

5. With love, you can't see your partner’s face; with lust, you love your partner’s face. When you’re in love, it’s hard to truly see your partner. At least, you don’t see him or her in the way the rest of the world does. You see your lover’s essence, his or her very being, layered deep under the outer shell that’s visible to the world. The physical beauty you were once so attracted to becomes unimportant. Even if you’re still attracted to this person, your attraction has changed.  You don’t care about good looks; you care about this person’s best interest.

6. With love, you want to know everything; with lust, you talk about nothing. In the beginning, all you want to do is talk to this person all day. You chat about “the nothings”– what you’re doing right now, what you’re doing tonight and what you had for dinner. It’s not so much talking as it is flirting with a purpose. In a real relationship, you talk with purpose. Everything you say has meaning, and it’s no longer insignificant chit-chat. It’s what you need this person to know.

7. With love, you want to be together all the time; in lust, you want to be together all the time. Whether or not this is actually the person of your dreams, you should always want to be together. When it’s just lust, you’re fueled by hormones. When it’s love, you’re fueled by a different kind of burning. No matter what stage you're in, you should be excited to see the person you hope to spend the rest of your life with

In conclusion, when you meet someone you feel something special for don’t rush it; allow it to unfold naturally. The more you bring love, honesty, passion and romance into your own self-relationship, the easier it will be to attract someone who shares those same qualities.

What is love – can it really be defined? What is love – can it really be defined? Reviewed by Akosua Evelyn on 22:08 Rating: 5

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